how is it that i have a deep desire to love people unconditionally, to pour out every emotion and all energy on those i love, and yet at the same time deep down believe that for one reason or another i am not worthy of this same love? there are days where i walk just slightly more stooped, my eyes averting anything with a breath. my body weighted with the ever so present shame of being me. the nagging thought that the first eye contact i make will at once give me away as a failure, this one person, in a glance, will of course proclaim to the world all of my insecurities and failures to be a normal, healthy, balanced human being. my deepest fear, that i am not lovable, my uncharacteristically strong emotions deeming me “crazy.”
don’t we all want to know that our deep human emotions are understood; that they connect us in ways that are at once abstruse and infinite? to be loved, empathized with and understood is one of the most profound underlying desires that separates humans from any other species.
love heals, love changes hearts and shapes bettering people, love breaks down walls and unites, love teaches and learns, love forgives, love knows no boundaries. we know this when we experience loving another person, when we experience another person loving us. yet, we forget this when we forget to love ourselves.